(Y)

As morning arrives,
death so suddenly strikes.
Impulses, of past lives,
creep upon my windowsill
and flow into my mind.
Like chains of smoke have pulverized,
my thinking pattern for already too long a time.
Like salutations of friends in disguise
have kept me wondering,
bathing in eternal sunrise.
And that a dream could come
Making me a slave of time that’s not mine.
That these words would flow, in lines,
revolving around a wild, unschematic rhyme.

Y clings to lYfe, as he, yourself and Y.

Estelle

There’s a night of revelations
That time before the movie screen
I just kept travelin’ under your clothes
The moments that were in between
You pushed me off, as I was thinkin’ of love
Wondering if you’d something to tell
I am waiting for your lips to move
Am I waiting in vain Estelle?

Rosemary wanted to talk to me,
I told her of our touch
She had always thought there was something about me
But she never had assumed that much
As I went away, she told me to stay
You got to crawl out of your shell
Is she right about being alive,
or are you enough Estelle?

I haven’t seen a smile from you
Ever since we’ve left the beach
You were always such a sad-eyed girl
And maybe a bit out of reach
When your mother died,  your brother cried
but you were someone else
You didn’t even cry when I told you that night
that you would die yourself.
Is there some kind of reason?
Or is it just you Estelle?

You lay broke down in the alley
Nothing made me touch the door
I didn’t even know that you wanted to go
To the same play as before
And when I combed my hair, you thought you lost me there
You didn’t even know me that well
Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye
Even if it’s you, Estelle

If you’re ever going back
To the town you left behind
Give my thanks to Marianne,
for treating you and me so kind
I never did, don’t think that I might
Lately I’m not feeling that well
Is it because you never closed the door?
Or because you’re not here, Estelle?

Even after you had closed the door
I managed for sometime to breathe
You had told me never to run
Even if it meant to be free
So I never ran, don’t even think that I can
The last time tried, I fell
I can’t trouble you, but what troubles me;
You never said; fare thee well
Can you hear me singing this song,
or are you long gone Estelle?

(Thanks to: Up to Me – Bob Dylan)

©DirtyMosquito – 2011

Deception

Well I searched and I found
what you hid in the ground.
Your books and your handwritings too.
I figured your books were all empty
and your writings weren’t written by you.

©Dirtymosquito – 2010

Empty

I’m gone; totally empty
no one’s fault, no one’s but mine.
And I tried, yes I tried.
To get filled with all these
fragments of my life.

My life took various sizes
but most of all yours.
Up to a hundred times I loved you;
up to a thousand t’was worse.

I climbed several mountains;
some steep as hell, some flat yet firm.
Some of them not even worthy
of being called a mountain.

But some of them were still too high
you know; like a river can be too long
like a rainbow much too shiny
like a statement can be wrong
like a kid too sympathetic
like a life can be too gone.

I swam in rivers
I looked at rainbows
I made my statements
and I loved some kids
but my life has never been as gone as this.

©Dirtymosquito – 4th of October, 2010

Aftermath

So surreal is this history
So surreal is this stain
fallen on a plain white sheet
spreading out to enormous sizes
as if it were our immortal remains.

You claimed to know me
I claimed to do the same
were it not for my aimlessness,
weariness, foolish pride and such,
we wouldn’t be going through this pain.

Shit! Hell came crashing now…
I didn’t even catch your name.
Your smokey eyes staring,
your dead ideals caring,
are still with me to this day.

With too few stares to what I love
emphasis on what I hate
I claimed the drought
to be fatal this time
though it took some time to state.

©Dirtymosquito

Truth Shrouded in Mist

Sweet talk, no one listens
By the way that you hissed
Pretty girl, abbreviation
Pretty eyes, in the mist
Pretty lover, miscalculation
Pretty eyes, in the mist

No one seems to know you’re wanderin’
I tried to hold you one more time
You’d say I hate you, but no it’s not like that
It’s you and me; that’s never ever gonna last

Well I tried to say, that nothing stays
and everything is bound to fade away
N’ I tried to state, nothing remains
but till the hells come crashing won’t you tell me your name?

And I tried to hold on but the feeling was gone
And I should have gone praying but I was just moving on
Well it’s only to me that you’re some mystery
Till the sun goes down; until then I’m free
And it’s over, pretty lass, by the way…

©DirtyMosquito – 2010

Shadow On Your Love

Your silhouette frightened the man who came here yesterday
To ask you for passage, through the woods, where no man dared to stay
Your eyes, look golden; your mind looks vague
Your time looks folded, by the world that you called fake
And the window you held open; you survived but you shall fall now any day.

Your plain responsive answer, derrived from silly interests
Refuses to bring gladness to the posers of old questions
A new one, diminished by long forsaken cancer
Destroyed - religion, forbidden to now enter
And the cross hanging from your shoulder is it true or just some token that you’d rent her?

Did the mirror in the hallway, keep up with expectations?
You say “nay the mirror’s broken”; deceived you with simple realisations
Your heart’s exploding, your breath sounds strange
You start, as you hold him, to draw the vague lines of a cage
And that shelter that you offer has no value  but the symbol of your age.

As you dream of golden flowers, protected by the guardians
Who don’t fight but stand with naked men, instead of being warriors
Your dream looks crazy, your ideas even more
Your perfume smells like flowers that you fold inside your four
Fingers that define your need for shelter for the storm…

©DirtyMosquito – 2011

Honey You’re On My Mind

Honey you’re on my mind
Who says that love made blind?
I can see you as clearly
As the sunray ahead
I can see them all falling
On the top of your head
I can see the withered flowers
Rising up once again
I can see it all clearly
I can see it all my friend

Honey you’re on my mind
Who told you that you should be kind?
Letters you send me
Which say you will spend
Your time for the better
And you know I will stand
Next to the doorway
With which you can leave again
Honey I’m with you but
Please be with me then

Honey you’re on my mind
I told you to take what you’d find
You found a bar of golden
Sexy as a dream
You stood there as if you’d stolen
The crown of the queen
You placed it on your head
And then you would get mad
Honey you’re right there
Out there in my mind
Though I will try, try, try
To get you out of there alive

©DirtyMosquito – 2010

I Stood There Gazing at the Flowers

For Janne, happy birthday!

———————-

I stood there gazing at the flowers
There’s a man outside, waiting for a bride

That’d be the time for you and me
To find a place for the both of us to hide
And stand upon my shoulders and maybe you can see
The flowers now grow bigger
As if our touch sped up the scene

©DirtyMosquito – 2010

Rhymes of Madness: Last Verse

When the rain starts dropping
And the wind starts howlin’
The leaves start a-falling
and the trees start bowin’
It marks the end of summer

I ain’t the one to send Christmas cards so I guess I’ll see you next year.